The loss of a child, a parent can leave almost deaf and paralyzed, regardless of cause. You live in another world wake up and wonder if you can start living again? You ask if you want to survive in one location to another party, the birthday of the child, or have never been able to get rid of the pain overwhelming. The good news is that yes you can. I speak from personal experience and show you a way that helped me with my pain. When my son four years, Jonathan spentaway, I thought it would never end my pain. First, the first night he slept, of course, I was in denial, thinking: "This can not happen to me and my family." I wondered how in the world I found the strength, the empty wheelchair race at the hospital that night with one, teddy bears, which would never be divided, and a-bashing that I feel good in any way or form could find joy in life from that moment.
I went through variousStages of grief - shock, anger, denial, depression, withdrawal, and finally acceptance. There are many stages of grief. For months I could not stop crying whenever I thought of him, saw a girl who looked like him, or if someone took his name. Worse, if others do not want to talk to him, for fear I would hurt, I was angry. I thought: "Why do not we talk about Jonathan? Was a part of my life that I never throw away, like a pair of jeans to shreds." I laterlearned that people are afraid to say anything for fear it would disturb me.
After the shock subsided and the vast knowledge of this phrase has never held back in my arms once again, the depression did not want to live inside. I did not know how. I have two sons and a husband. Climbing out of bed to do for them was not more exciting. I was so pain that I thought I would never lose the light at the end of a tunnel. , I felt like I was thrown into agreat black pit, and that there was no ladder to climb for me. I cook for my two sons and her husband to be difficult. Watched my family was difficult because every time I click on one of them I saw a likeness of the son I lost. I ignored the family and friends. To be honest, I did not want to live. I wish someone would put me out of my misery and even death has asked to come and take me.
I was always on his tomb, in a conversation with her picture on the laminatestone and hit the floor until the back fist. I feel bad when another part of my body that surely my heart would stop evil. I wondered how God could a heart that was broken into pieces and sewing meet again. What I did not then, it was clear that every emotion I felt normal. The turning point for me began shortly after he died, and I do not recommend anyone with this intention. The weekend special is the cemeterywas buried was destroyed. When I visit a few days, the ground was firm and I have several elements in the soil around his grave - a nautical flag, a hummingbird, and other decorative items. When I arrived, after I heard about the vandalism, all these elements have been reversed. I thought that his tomb was destroyed. I got my car in a huff and marched straight to his grave to try to gather the information I was sure that some wouldin acts of vandalism. Remember the old adage: "Do not step on a fresh grave?" Okay, I admit I had never heard before. I'm on his freshly dug grave and walked straight into how long the sand pulled me into a force. Luckily I managed to retain the surrounding earth and managed to pull my body weighted. This was in January, late January, so I was freezing. This man drove his car, and did not stop and offer me any help and I wasgrateful. I thought, 'You're crazy, you're missing your son so bad, he jumped into the grave. " This thought made me laugh. I realized I had not felt for some time.
I pulled my floor mats from my vehicle and began to wipe the dirt away from me. Then I sat on a carpet all the way home. I prayed to be stopped by the police for fear that they ask me what happened. I called the cemetery and then explained what had happened. The woman laughed and replied: "You areNot always the first to experience this. "This gave me a lot better. I say that was my turning point because I realized that if I died that day, my husband and the other guys have to do more turbulence have. I was in my trapped pain and suffering was clear. After that day, I will say that the change came suddenly. I have taken steps to ensure it. Internet connections and network joined a grief support for bereaved parents. ThisThe parents had about topics such as me so that might be reference. I started a "Happy Journal" and placed them at the foot of my bed at her grandmother's trunk. In this book, my family was encouraged to write happy memories of Jonathan. I ordered a book called "Roses in December" and see how this mother survived their losses. I started a diary about his life and after his life. For the part after the life I wrote poems that Jonathan could do now, and found comfort in what I thoughtwas that he was doing. I wrote letters to him. Every time I wrote a poem about him, I went out copies to all I knew.
I finally had to swallow my pride and advice. My therapist told me that I did everything right and I go through each step of the process of grief and embrace emotion. This was important, the healing process. You need to embrace the emotions as if hug your child. You have to go through it, that emotions go. ThisPhases, which is expected not to recover, and there are moments where you say: "I lived at that stage, that's why I came?" And you believe that acceptance is never coming, but it will. We speak of feeling pain, you must accept. First, the shock - I can not believe that this happens. Negative - I can not believe this happened to me, no, it did not happen. I refuse to believe. Rabies - This is my fault, blame doctors, or perhaps someone who feelskilled. The next phase was withdrawn and depressed, I might add. Feeling blue. Do not want to get out of bed. You want people to go away and only you and make you drown in a sea of self-pity. The things you have found the pleasure is no longer attractive. The last stage is acceptance: if you find that you will never forget your child, but also accept that you are on a life without her. Most often, this results in guilt. Do you think if I continue to liveand find happiness, this means that I can forget my child. No, this is not the case and will never be the case. I can assure you that you never forget bundle of joy. You will know at some point that just because you live does not mean that you forget your child. Remember that each of these stages in different experiences. No two people are alike. You could also regress back to find a time when you thought you had to overcome. Namelynormal, but you have to embrace stage and go through it, to heal.
Other ways to deal with you talk openly with all family members. Set aside one day a week or a month, in which each person talks about the deceased child and shares with other family members, what annoys you and what you remember who makes them laugh, or what will help them deal with it. Write a book about your child and how to survive. Write poetry. Making an album of the child and put it onLiving room table to share with others. Looking for a job or a hobby you like. Start a blog about pain and encourage other parents to publish their views. One way to do this is to myspace.com Registration is free and you can start your blog. Talking to your child whenever you want. If depression is a problem, go to a professional consultant and receive an objective picture. If the pain is so strong you feel like you can not continue to seek a doctor who can help you and he writesIn the short term to help alleviate some symptoms of depression medication. Dedicating a garden courtyard in the deceased child and select plants that are remembered when the first baby steps, scanning, took a leap of faith, the possibilities are endless. While making the first couple of holidays, vacation, if possible, somewhere that is relaxing and has lots of sun. His next birthday, she baked and buy them a gift for his grave. In celebration of the tombs havea brother or sister blow out the candles. We do this for years and is very heart felt by us all. This reassures us that although we are living we are not going to stop nursing.
The main fear is not always enough to ask for help. to follow in the coming months the death of a child can be a dirty house, maintain or ask someone to clean for you. Do not add more unnecessary suffering. Always talk to your spouse or partner for the loss. Do not blame each otheror angry with each other when one feels, the other reached the stage of acceptance before. Acceptance will come when you can feel the pain. Try to get a picture of a wound that is deep. Before the pain is clean, then, then you treat them, and then heals him. You can not just a patch on it, without all the other steps or the wound may be infected, or may not heal properly if it were a disease process like diabetes.
And if you believe in God, to speak with him asas possible about your loss. Remember, he also lost his son, and feels our pain. He loves us and said he would never leave or leave us. For some reason I was angry with him at first. I thought, "Why, because you have a disabled child and me fall in love with him and take him away?" What I came to realize that God is a loving God. He wants us to share our pain with him. You are not alone, that they all tell me and I finally stoppedlearned that I was not. I hope this has been a help to you. You can go to your library and check books in mourning the loss of a child. "Roses in December" would definitely recommend.
